The theme for the week of prayer for Christian unity in 2020 was unusual kindness. I was thinking about this theme as I was commuting from my home in Ligonier to my office in Latrobe when I came to an overpass with the words “It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood,” molded into the cement. These are the words of Fred Rogers, born and raised in Latrobe, Pennsylvania, who so beautifully and completely embodied kindness. Fred Rogers showed an unusual kindness. He showed it through his ability to be completely present to other people in the moment, to put aside his ego, his needs, his agenda, his schedule, and to listen deeply and simply with an open heart.
Years after Fred Rogers earned an M.Div. from Pittsburgh Theological Seminary, I began my theological studies there. At the Seminary, there is a photograph of Fred Rogers speaking to high school students who attended a summer program there. In the photograph, Fred is sitting at a piano and the teenagers are gathered around him. In that moment, the expression on their faces is the expression of four-year old’s. These high school students have shed their coolness, their sarcasm, their defensiveness, the masks they wear to protect themselves in the world. They are interacting with Fred and because he is able to be fully and authentically himself, because kindness is not merely a garment he wears but the nature of his heart, these teenagers responded to that kindness by letting go of their facades, trusting him, and allowing their own authentic hearts to show.
The kindness Fred Rogers showed was not accidental. He had a gentle heart, but he nurtured that gentleness, worked on being kind, and allowed this work to shape all his actions. He had a heart shaped by prayer, by worship, by living a Christian practice moment by moment, day by day, year after year, a practice that created space for Christ to dwell within him, for Christ to work through him.
It is interesting that Fred Rogers is associated with children because we sometimes associate gentleness and kindness with the virtues of childhood. As we mature, we are urged to practice courage, fortitude, discipline, and vigilance. The practice of gentleness and kindness sometimes falls away from us as we strive to improve our fortitude, to be tough enough to live out our Christian lives in a world that is not gentle or kind. Yet close attention to the Bible reveals that kindness is a central virtue for all Christians, the young, the old, and all of those in between.
In Colossians, Paul tells us,
You are God’s chosen race, his saints; he loves you, and you should be clothed in sincere compassion, in kindness and humility, gentleness and patience.
Colossians 3:12
In Galatians, Paul tells us that when we receive God’s spirit as gift, we bear fruit in the form of virtues that characterize the inner life of God:
love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Galatians 5:22-23
Notice in both these passages kindness is associated with humility and gentleness. Kindness, humility, and gentleness are relational virtues that should characterize the movements of a Christian in the world.
Fred Rogers knew the power of practicing kindness, that kindness allows us to connect with one another beneath our defenses, in places of vulnerability where love and understanding grow. Kindness is the expression of a heart that loves as God loves. Experiencing the love in kindness awakens within us a desire for the source of that kindness, it kindles a fire in our hearts to live in that love and to be shaped by that love. Always gentle, always humble, the importance of kindness is easily overlooked and yet in this gentle, humble, kindness, lies communion with God, and one another.
Mister Rogers had a way of inviting his viewers into friendship with him and all the others in the neighborhood. I was one of his young viewers. His kindness showed a strength and generous spirit. When I’ve been on the receiving end of kindness, it’s been transformative to experience the depth of humanity in another person and in myself.
I’m always struck by a line in Augustine’s, “Confessions,” when he describes his early impressions of Bishop Ambrose. Augustine certainly recognizes the excellence Ambrose’s preaching. What he comments on, though, is that Ambrose was kind to him. That kindness helped to open Augustine’s heart to God. The phrase, “relational virtue,” is powerful because it speaks to the bond that kindness nurtures.
Receiving kindness has been transformative for me as well. Your example from Augustine’s “Confessions” is insightful, how interesting that it is Ambrose’s kindness that left a lasting mark! Thank you for your comment Kimberly!